I Am a New Parent: Now What?
Teacher's are required to have a college degree; televisions come with a user's manual; a driver's license requires passing a test; but, having babies requires no education, comes with no user's manual, and no license is necessary. Planned or unplanned, helpless little babies arrive with no information and a great many demands. Now what? Even for the seasoned baby sitter, parenting is an entirely new adventure. For the next 18 years, the child will need nurturing, guidance, discipline, and most of all-unconditional love. How can anyone be prepared for such an awesome responsibility? The answer: no one can. So, relax, expect the unexpected, and have lots of hugs handy.
First, relax. Parents do not have to know everything before taking the baby home from the hospital. Parents and babies learn together. Actually, babies
First, relax. Parents do not have to know everything before taking the baby home from the hospital. Parents and babies learn together. Actually, babies
are much smarter than people give them credit. Consider all the basic functions of life learned in the first year or two. Babies learn to speak, walk, and how to wrap their parents around little fingers. One small cry and Mama jumps to attention. A few sleepless nights, and Daddy will take a long, comforting drive to nowhere. In addition, babies pick up on parental moods. If Mom and Dad are stressed, chances are baby will be fussier. Relax. Crying does not hurt a baby. As a matter of fact, a few wails are good for the lungs. Generally, infants are not as breakable as they seem. With gentleness and love, parents will soon be able to recognize the different cries, a baby's main means of communication: hungry, sleepy, bored, sick, and simply needing a cuddle. So, relax. Take one day at a time.
Next, expect the unexpected. Prospective parents are famous for saying: "My child will never throw a temper tantrum in a store; I will be able to tell when my child is sick"; and best of all: "My child will be on a schedule." As Grandma used to say, "Life happens, while you are making other plans." First, temper tantrums are usually thrown at the most inopportune moments. The fit is meant to get a parent's undivided attention, and achieve a goal. For example, a child asks Mom for candy during grocery shopping. Mom says no. A screaming fit is instituted. Mom really needs the groceries, and all the people are staring. Mom will usually give in, simply to finish shopping in a measure of peace.
Second, children have an amazing ability to pick the worst times on the planet to get sick. When a parent is dressed in his/her best clothes, when the boss informs the office regarding a mandatory meeting, or in the middle of the first good night's sleep in two years. Relax. As a child ages, usually the bouts of unexpected projectile vomiting will be fewer and farther apart. Also, observant parents will learn to tell when a child's coloring is off, or he/she is acting a little more listless. Eventually, a child will be able to communicate when he/she is not feeling well. In the meantime, remember: an infant will never recall if Mom missed a cue to an impending illness.
Third, although babies and children appreciate a routine, a schedule is usually the dream of new parents, and not the reality. For example, some doctors recommend feeding a child on a set schedule. If the child cries because of hunger, wait. Other doctors say, feed the child when he/she is hungry. In addition to the standard debate, doctors have different viewpoints on when to start feeding baby food. From personal experience, every child is different, and parents know their child better than the doctor. For example, some children simply have a higher metabolism and need the extra nourishment to grow. A nine-year-old boy can eat an adult under the table, during a growth spurt. Similarly, babies are constantly growing and changing. While parents may not be able to see change over a few weeks, Grandma can definitely see change, since her last visit a month ago. Scheduling is a good plan. However, be prepared to modify the plan when necessary.
Most importantly, have lots of hugs ready to give. Children will forgive a lot of parenting mistakes, if he/she knows Mommy and Daddy love unconditionally. Also, as much as parents would like to think differently, their little angels occasionally brandish a horn or two. In fact, a little obstinacy is to be expected. From a very early age, youngsters are acquiring the skills necessary to become independent adults. So, always remember to love a son/daughter unconditionally, even if they are not acting very lovable. After all, babies love parents despite their mistakes.
So relax. Consider some sage advice: take life with a new baby one day at a time. Worry never really changes anything; and, if Mom is worried, baby will sense the stress. Never say "never". Children are not programmable. Children will also get sick unexpectedly, despite a parent's best efforts to predict the current state of health. Finally, and most importantly, love the baby unconditionally. Love will forgive a lot of new parenting mistakes. So, relax.
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Next, expect the unexpected. Prospective parents are famous for saying: "My child will never throw a temper tantrum in a store; I will be able to tell when my child is sick"; and best of all: "My child will be on a schedule." As Grandma used to say, "Life happens, while you are making other plans." First, temper tantrums are usually thrown at the most inopportune moments. The fit is meant to get a parent's undivided attention, and achieve a goal. For example, a child asks Mom for candy during grocery shopping. Mom says no. A screaming fit is instituted. Mom really needs the groceries, and all the people are staring. Mom will usually give in, simply to finish shopping in a measure of peace.
Second, children have an amazing ability to pick the worst times on the planet to get sick. When a parent is dressed in his/her best clothes, when the boss informs the office regarding a mandatory meeting, or in the middle of the first good night's sleep in two years. Relax. As a child ages, usually the bouts of unexpected projectile vomiting will be fewer and farther apart. Also, observant parents will learn to tell when a child's coloring is off, or he/she is acting a little more listless. Eventually, a child will be able to communicate when he/she is not feeling well. In the meantime, remember: an infant will never recall if Mom missed a cue to an impending illness.
Third, although babies and children appreciate a routine, a schedule is usually the dream of new parents, and not the reality. For example, some doctors recommend feeding a child on a set schedule. If the child cries because of hunger, wait. Other doctors say, feed the child when he/she is hungry. In addition to the standard debate, doctors have different viewpoints on when to start feeding baby food. From personal experience, every child is different, and parents know their child better than the doctor. For example, some children simply have a higher metabolism and need the extra nourishment to grow. A nine-year-old boy can eat an adult under the table, during a growth spurt. Similarly, babies are constantly growing and changing. While parents may not be able to see change over a few weeks, Grandma can definitely see change, since her last visit a month ago. Scheduling is a good plan. However, be prepared to modify the plan when necessary.
Most importantly, have lots of hugs ready to give. Children will forgive a lot of parenting mistakes, if he/she knows Mommy and Daddy love unconditionally. Also, as much as parents would like to think differently, their little angels occasionally brandish a horn or two. In fact, a little obstinacy is to be expected. From a very early age, youngsters are acquiring the skills necessary to become independent adults. So, always remember to love a son/daughter unconditionally, even if they are not acting very lovable. After all, babies love parents despite their mistakes.
So relax. Consider some sage advice: take life with a new baby one day at a time. Worry never really changes anything; and, if Mom is worried, baby will sense the stress. Never say "never". Children are not programmable. Children will also get sick unexpectedly, despite a parent's best efforts to predict the current state of health. Finally, and most importantly, love the baby unconditionally. Love will forgive a lot of new parenting mistakes. So, relax.
Do you want to use this article? Well you can as long as you do not edit or delete the resource box. Click Here to download.
